Extended Biography, and Origins

If you are reading this, I suspect much of what I am about to say you have already discovered or begun to feel in your own life. There is a reason you are here and a reason we have come together.

My Story-

From a very early age, I knew I was different. And as a child born into a society that valued sameness, being different was not good. Feeling like an outsider, I was uncomfortable with not fitting in, but I knew I couldn’t change who I was.

I was born in Los Angeles, Ca. in 1966, and it didn’t take long to figure out this world was crazy. It was confused, at the least. It felt sick. When I was four or five, I distinctly remember feeling a deep sadness as I rode around the megalopolis, doing errands with my mom. I would stare out the car window and wonder why everything was as it was. It seemed so dull and dirty, with trash and cigarette butts in the streets, the air a thick, pale brown. I found it suffocating, mindlessly busy, an endless sea of toxic air and concrete. It felt like a prison.

The buildings were sad, lackluster, and uninspired, having no sense of pride or joy or celebration, no sense of life. The people were dour, and they seemed to be asleep. I knew they weren’t true to themselves. They weren’t happy, and it appeared they were going through the motions. In late 60’s/early 70’s Los Angeles, air pollution was at its worst, and the country was embroiled in Vietnam and a civil rights struggle. Apathy and sorrow were everywhere. And like a sponge, I couldn’t help but take it all in.

Starving for solitude, beauty, and something that made sense, I would hide in a little greenbelt of trees that lined the border of a freeway that ran through our neighborhood. It was noisy, riddled with litter, and the plants and trees were not healthy from all the exhaust fumes, but I often took refuge there and dreamed of faraway places.

Fast forward nearly 50 years, and not much has changed; I still don’t know why society is the way it is, and I continue to be very uncomfortable in crowds and big cities, and just the thought of dirty air and traffic makes me sick.

Luckily, my parents moved to much less developed (at the time) San Diego when I was 12. I lived there until 1996 when I escaped to the great land up north, Alaska. And I have never looked back.

Professional life-

Entering the medical field in 1986 as an EMT, I worked on an ambulance for years on the streets of San Diego, then moved to the emergency room. There, in 1995, I met my future wife, Wanda.

In 1995 and again in 1999, I was most of the way through nursing school (RN) when I was forced to quit, once due to illness and once due to neck issues. I took that as a sign.

Over 21 years, I worked in various capacities in hospitals in California and Alaska, in ER, cardiology, and pharmacy, to name a few. And through all of that time, I was quietly suffering.

I wrote about my struggles with chronic pain and depression in 2012 in a book called Love vs. Anything That Isn’t (out of print).  I re-wrote and updated that work into a new one released in 2019, called A Gentler Path. https://www.amazon.com/dp/1731587406.

For those who haven’t read it, in late 2006, becoming suicidal with never-ending pain, I was near the bottom. Mercifully, I found someone who did craniosacral therapy, and my life was never the same. The whole story is recounted in detail in A Gentler Path. The takeaway is that I experienced a profound spiritual awakening that redefined everything about me, my world, and my life. From that day on, the awareness I gained has never left me. I became trained in craniosacral therapy, leaving the “conventional” medical system forever.

Uncovering the jewel within-

In the 13 years that have passed, I realized I was born an empath. Some of the signs are (in my own words and the ones that fit me best)-

·         Being able to feel what others are feeling (this one drives my wife crazy; she thinks I am in her head. The truth is, I am in her heart).

·         Being uncomfortable in crowds or big cities (I already covered this, just thinking about being in a big city or traffic leaves me feeling physically ill).

·         Frequently needing to be alone (honestly, I don’t want to live without solitude)

·         Feeling extraordinarily comfortable and refreshed in nature (nowhere I’d rather be)

·         Not being good at or liking small talk at all (I don’t like parties or get-togethers with people I don’t know. ”So, what do you do?” It makes me want to scream)

·         Being prone to expressing emotion. (I cry a lot, mainly from a place of joy and happiness or upon seeing something beautiful, but also from witnessing how cruel we can sometimes be)

·         Being intuitive, trusting the gut and heart before the brain (the heart doesn’t lie and is always speaking if you learn how to listen)

·         Being sensitive to environmental stimuli, light, sound, etc. (I cannot take loud people or places)

All that stuff I felt as a child and as an adult before my awakening in 2007 makes sense now. I was this way from birth, I just didn’t understand it, and no one around me knew. So, I ended up depressed and rife with chronic pain. It was merely my system telling me I was on the wrong path, that something needed my attention. Now that I know more about myself, I process things differently, and I’m much happier and healthier.

I live in a little house in the woods in northern Wisconsin with my wife, Wanda, and George, “The Wonder Schnauzer.”

So, that’s it. I am temporarily and happily human, a little shard of divinity, trying to find my way like we all are, who is here to serve with a selfless heart.

Thanks for reading.